Both Are True

Dear friend,

You know if we let them, every single week of our lives can be compelling, enjoyable, profound and full of delight. This past week, I got to experience another birthday - turned 56, I bought a kayak off Facebook Marketplace and I got to speak for a new client 30 minutes from my home. Those are the big rocks. There are other rocks, some boulders, some pebbles, that I don't give attention to here.

It's not so much selective attentiveness, as intentional focus, that defines my existence. The kayak has gotten a lot of focus this week. From how to transport it, to where to store it, to how to get rid of the odor it carries, to all the peripherals I must purchase before even putting it in water. That's the kicker. I bought it on Monday. Today is Saturday. I have not yet been on the water with it.

I have fallen into the cliche. With Amazon Prime days happening, I just had to get all the necessary side elements: dry bag, paddle safety line, a life jacket, a whistle, sponges to clean it, a protective spray coating - I mean, I am outfitted. I even looked around Parker Lake to see where I could launch from. The only thing I haven't done is get on a lake!

Ever been there? Have all the necessities, are ready to launch, and yet... don't do the very thing it or you is intended to do. I could explain to you my daily schedule on why I haven't yet. I could justify at least one day lax, because I didn't know it was illegal to be on the water without a lifejacket, so I had to wait for my order to arrive (the next day). Another day it was raining. Yet another I prioritized other stuff...

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Even when I listen to myself, I'm annoyed. I'm like "dude, quit making excuses and just go do it!" I love obstacles, yet the way I'm transporting it, on my car, is a challenge. One more hindrance. I haven't put it on my car by myself yet. The guys I bought it from helped me. Am I a man or a mouse? Confessing this to you, doesn't get me on the lake. Though, sincerely, I have a plan to go right after church tomorrow. Before noon on Sunday I will be floating around Bryant Lake, in Eden Prairie.

I'm a pretty decent procrastinator. I've got lots of experience with it, even though I'm also productive. The two-sidedness of our being offers consistent friction. If you and I could simply be defined by one trait, wouldn't it make our judgments about others easier. If you could say "Greg is a procrastinator" and that be the complete story, life would be much simpler. But when I'm also the opposite of that, it makes reality more complicated.

MINDSHIFT

What if you gave yourself grace to be both? The good/bad, strength/weakness that is YOU. What if you extended mercy to others as well?

BOTH

The simplicity of singularity contrasts the complexity of duality. Yet the layers of our humanity reveal our remarkable individuality. I really like those two sentences. Do me a favor and read them again. Settling that with ourselves and others expands our emotional bandwidth to possess compassion as a rigorous relational tool.

I haven't personally been burdened with lots of self-criticism. I usually give myself loads of grace. 🙂 However, I'm aware of the concept of "being hard on yourself." I've certainly disappointed myself a multitude of times. I don't tend to linger in it. It's possible I could benefit from a little deeper reflective period. However, you might be someone who spends too much time rehearsing over and over your mistakes. If it helps you change them in the future, good on you. However if it's just self-disparaging, consider letting go.

MINDSHIFT

What if this week you sought a healthy balance of self-defining, with a leaning towards generous forgiveness applied to yourself?

ACCEPTANCE

I hope you like yourself. I like you. The paradox of people is our ability to bring joy to one person and pain to another. Heck, actually we can bring both to the same person. The challenge isn't to increase and decrease accordingly, it's to accept the condition of our surrender. That acceptance undergirds our own identity and our capacity to love generously.

Shifting from "how can both be true?" to "both are true" positions us to live a life of freedom.

I promise you I'll be in my kayak, on water, before the sun sets Sunday evening. I bet I'll even have a picture to prove it. I don't want to procrastinate. I don't want to make excuses. I don't want to delay activating decisions. Also, it'll be fine. Where are you self-applying negativity disguised as pressure, creating misdirected focus? Apply compassion liberally.

SHIFTING

I hope this week you deliberately describe both your weaknesses and strengths, your character defects and affects, your pluses and minuses - relishing them all as unique attributes to magnify and diminish, as you wish. Just don't deny either of them. Both are true! #ShiftAway