Vandal-Proof Your Puzzle
Hey Friend,
This week we started the official promotional campaign for the book. You probably got an email. Or saw it online. Or hopefully both. I don't feel much differently, because I've already been living with and talking about it, for so long. It seems to me like it's been out for months. I'm keeping expectations low which tends to minimize monumental moments.
A few weeks ago, my beautiful bride and I started a puzzle. She had gotten it for me over a year ago and we had never busted it out. It's 1000 pieces. I've never done a 1000 piece puzzle. Heck, I don't think I've done a 500 piece puzzle. We wanted to do something that we could be together, but not be moving or in front of a screen. It's difficult, but this week I made some real progress.
As with all puzzle assembly, we first set about finding the border pieces. I think everyone does a puzzle this way because you have to know the boundaries that you're working within. Next, I inherently decided to tackle, what I considered, the hardest section: the bottom. Between the all red color, similar stars and black lines, every piece looked alike.
While I was working to create a pile of two connected pieces, my smart wife applied a completely different strategy. She built off of the border. Her and I are very different. Those differences create tension, admiration, frustration, amazement, disappointment, and love. I found myself thinking she was taking the "easy" way while I was doing the "hard" work. Her strategy brought immediate results. The picture unfolded with every placement. Mine brought no satisfaction because it wasn't even inside the puzzle. Just connected pieces.
DIFFERENCES
Are differences the root of all pain in relationships? Not just marriage, but work, friends, siblings, strangers and acquaintances. Do we see how others do things, say things, respond to things in completely divergent ways than ourselves and assign meaning, motive and matter? I do. So it's really not the difference, it's the 3M's. Which contrarily are the ways we feel most loved too.
Could this be the greatest secret in all human relations? I believe it's called the "attribution theory".
Meaning = What they are doing.
Motive = Why they are doing it.
Matter = How significant it is.
I wish there was some way to have immediate access to this internal process that our emotions trigger without warning. Wouldn't it be great if for every thought we had about someone's differences, we got a Positive, Neutral & Negative 3M option simultaneously?
MINDSHIFT
What if this week, for every difference you find in someone, you require from yourself a positive, neutral and negative 3M description?
VANDALS
It's not corollary, but my Owners, Renters, and Vandals mindsets in the workplace have a positive, neutral and negative implication. Our initial campaign with the book is to "Vandal-Proof Your Business." Creating a work environment that roots out and naturally repels Vandals - those saboteurs who resist forward progress, prevent growth and hinder productivity, is at the heart of the book.
These labels aren't people, but mindsets. They aren't fixed either. I suspect Vandals have utilized the attribution theory to ascribe descriptors to their boss and colleagues in a way that filters all their actions and words as negative. Therefore they feel justified in their vandalism because the company "deserves it." Haven't we all excused our behavior based on someone else's? I have. Though, living with an Owner's Mindset means we work to find the positive as much as possible.
MINDSHIFT
What if this week you vandal-proofed your mind? Consider where you are assuming negative intent and how that's impacting your environment. Ask yourself "How could I own this?"
PUZZLE PIECES
I'm grateful the book works both corporately and personally. I struggled to find the mix of challenging each of us to act like owners in every area of our life and for businesses to wrestle with creating environments that people want to own. Meshing the personal and professional is a puzzle.
Seeing the picture we desire achieved, inspires us to find the pieces to build it!
That's the beauty of our lives. The picture is not pre-defined. If we don't like the look of our puzzle now, we can change it. Knowing the boundaries we are working within isn't limiting, but freeing. Vandal-Proof your perspective and own your choices for the life you're building. It's a masterpiece! And when you get through the hard parts, you really appreciate the picture more. 🧩
SHIFTING
I hope this week you sincerely consider the 3M's and how you are filtering people, situations, and life. Ask someone where you might need to Vandal-proof your perspective. #OwnIt #ShiftAway
