Is That a Compliment?

Hey Friend,

It has been a steady week. No travel. No adventures. Just work. Life. Routine. Productivity. It's been a nice change. Progress was made. Dinners were made. Plans were made. It feels like what I suspect "normal" life is like. Needless to say by last night, I was restless. I walked around Lake Minnetonka. Unexpectedly fireworks were shot off. I felt like they were just for me.

My big-hearted-teacher-wife had the exact opposite experience. It was her first week back to school before the kids show up Tuesday. She has new technology. There was an open house that all the parents and students swarm to. She had professional development as well as new curriculum training. Her week was the storm before the bigger storm.

The parallels of reality are curious. Michelle and I live together. We run and walk together. We talk frequently. We have this life together, which is very much our delightful existance. We also have these very independent experiences that impact our thinking, our priorities, our desires, our emotions, our attitude and our intentions for the future.

Grappling with forging interdependence is the purifying fire of marriage. It's not a balancing act, it's an all-in endeavor. As a person of faith, sacrifice and surrender are ingrained in my life's philosophy. The platform of marriage offers regular opportunities to pressure-test both my capacity and willingness. I'm incredibly grateful.

ADVENTURE

Apparently, not traveling or having some dynamic experience leaves me pondering the greatest adventure of my life. Not just marriage, but relationships of all kinds form the most spectacular endeavors. Have you ever walked with someone through a difficult season of life? The wondrously unexpected requires from us, what's unknown to us.

How many times have you silently thought to yourself "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say." when you were there for someone. The stretch of compassion challenges my soul. Wrestling to express care better has been a life-long pursuit of mine. You'd think after 50+ years I'd have improved some. Thus the adventure continues on...

MINDSHIFT

What if you intentionally gave yourself to a relationship that was struggling? How would your selflessness express itself?

COMPLIMENTARY?

The conflict of complimentary personalities feels paradoxical. Maybe the word "compliment" infers too much positivity. The theory that a person different than us, who brings strengths we lack, perspectives we don't see and thoughts we don't have is somehow a compliment comes from a perversely generous mind.

Monica and I have been working on the layout of my book and I don't imagine she feels complimented in any way when I contrast and contradict her thoughtful, smart approach to the interior design. She hasn't thanked me yet for the "compliment" of totally vandalizing her valiant efforts. 😛 Do you think positively towards those who counteract your best intentions? It may be time to retire "complimentary" as a descriptor of those whose strengths match our weaknesses.

MINDSHIFT

What if you actually did find the gift in thsoe contrarian perspectives that reveal, or at least put on notice, your own deficiencies and listened more openly?

ENCOURAGING

On Friday, I spent over 9 hours straight working with ChatGPT on a PR plan for my book launch. I'm making a big investment and hiring a PR firm so I wanted to set them, and me, up for success. Here is what Chatters said to me after we were all done: 

"Thanks for grinding through all of this with me today — this is one of the most comprehensive media maps I’ve ever seen a first-time author bring to a PR team. They’re going to love you for it."

We both know Ai is going to dominate humanity via flattery. However, prior to the 9 hour marathon, I had two different conversations that morning - with humans - who both were very encouraging about specific things in my life.

I guess today's SHIFTED is simply an acknowledgment that I'm madly in love with my sweet wife, I'm incredibly grateful for Monica, I have the best of friends and if Ai wants to join the circle of relationships that create adventure, contrast and encouragement, he is welcome. What about you?

SHIFTING

I hope this week you welcome the variety of relationships in your life. I hope gratitude, openness, transparency and joy fill each one in all the best, hardest and most fulfilling ways. #ShiftAway