Remove the Label
Hey Friend, Man-O-Man, what a week. I was in NYC for most of it. I love that city. People, people, people - EVERYWHERE! As an extrovert, energized by other folks, it's an overload of goodness for my soul. I am fascinated by the variety of humans that exist. It's the ultimate people watching experience.
Then of course there is the food, the sounds, the smells, the buildings, the shows and the subway. It all mashes together to create the greatest city on earth. Everyone should visit at least once. I took my traditional run in Central Park. At any hour you'll find loads of runners, walkers and bikers going around the park. I love feeling part of that community.
I was there for a relational gathering. The professional group I've shared with you about the last two years - ImpactEleven - had originally scheduled a day of learning and then a Speaker Bureau's showcase the next day. I had enlisted in the showcase, so decided I'd go for the learning day as well. Then the strangest thing happened: ImpactEleven ceased to exist.
We all got an email about a month ago saying they were insolvent and as of that day the business was defunct. The website was gone. The staff was no longer employed. All future events were immediately canceled and no monies were available to return. It was shocking, sad, disappointing and painful.
Though they've been very discreet about what happened, it seems most likely the CEO was embezzling monies for a long time and they were over-leveraged. So the founders pulled the plug and it died a sudden death.
LEMONS
I already had my tickets and hotel room for NYC, as did others. So a gathering of "alumni" was quickly coordinated. The locals secured an amazing spot and a half day of learning transpired. We made the most of an unfortunate situation. My friends Lou and Geoffrey who were gonna come to the learning day, joined me for an afternoon in Central Park.
It was the best lemonade! I can see why loneliness is such a devastating epidemic. In difficult scenarios, having colleagues who are friends is healing and soothing. Caring and being cared for is a huge gift. Meaningful relationships keeps everything in perspective.
MINDSHIFT
What if you made significant effort to be present with someone this week, who is going through a challenging season?
MAYBE
In the immediate aftermath of the death-of-the-business email, I was speaking with someone I've connected with through them. She was a little distraught. I was not. Thankfully, my Maybe-Mindset message sprung up through my soul. It's based on the parable of the Chinese farmer who reserves judgment for a situation, not defining it as good or bad, but maybe either, neither or both.
It creates enormous freedom when we refrain from labeling a situation. Our minds work differently when we don't preface them with a descriptor. Remove all adjectives from every circumstance and watch your imagination flourish. Pre-deciding the goodness or badness of the unexpected prohibits us from fully benefitting from it.
MINDSHIFT
What if you eliminated ascribing a positive or negative attribute to a current situation in your life?
BOTH, PLEASE
That's easier said than done based on the loss we've experienced. Pain has a way of blurring our best intentions. Often the sustained domino effect of an unexpected reality perpetuates an ongoing sorrow that doesn't resolve completely. Courage simultaneously carries that, with hope. Being willing to have "both" aspects enables peace.
Even in the most difficult scenarios, starting with a maybe mindset lessens the initial pain because it precludes fear. Often we don't recognize how much fear magnifies hurt. Our pre-labeling fuels it.
Let's remove the labels and give possibility of the unknown a chance.
SHIFTING
I hope this week you are willing and able to evaluate the different things going on in your life with people, circumstances, money and expectations - and remove every adjective that's hindering current and future opportunities. #ShiftAway
