You Are The Gift!
Hey Friend,
It has been a week of SNOW! Almost every day this week it snowed. It's also cold. Like really cold today. I don't know if you've felt -12 degrees lately, but it has an immediate numbing effect on any exposed skin. Primarily your face. It's a fascinating sensation that causes deep breaths and exhilaration; then it becomes painful. I will say I do love the white blanket of snow decorating earth.
Another fun thing that happened was that I was on NPR on Friday. I didn't know that was going to happen. I've only done a handful of podcasts through the PR companies efforts. One of them was with David Brancaccio and the Marketplace Morning Report. Apparently it goes out on NPR. What a surprise.
The other thing that seems to be consuming my mind and evening hours is GIFTS! My son's 26th birthday was on Friday. My lovely wife's son's girlfriend graduates college today. Then of course the biggest gift giving day of all, Christmas is right around the corner. We've got text lists, amazon wishlists, shared notes list, and an online gift lists that you can check off once purchased.
There is no shortage of things people want. And by "people" I mean kids - of any age. The dynamic of giving and receiving gifts has drastically changed over the years. From my childhood, to my kids' childhood, to their young adult years, the transaction of stuff lacks a bit of sentiment that makes exchanging presents magical.
PRESENCE
It could be the nostalgia of the season is percolating in my soul. Also the subtleness of sorrow seeping in. Plus the distant proximity of all family members. I can tell I'm missing community when I venture down this mental path. That dang quip about "presence" being a "present" bears the weight of truth.
You are a gift. Sometimes we don't feel it. Especially when we're scurrying to purchase one. For all the energy we exert, it doesn't take away that being in each other's life is something special. You with your friends, family, colleagues and community is enough. Being with, is a gift mostly appreciated when no longer available. Don't miss it.
MINDSHIFT
What if the pressure you felt for gift-giving was replaced with a determination to be present with each meaningful relationship?
CAN'T BUY ME LOVE
Another interesting aspect that arises in this gift-giving season is the quandary of buying love. Instead of delight that is supposed to accompany the joy of blessing someone with this thing you purchased, fear of disappointing them shows up equally strong. That's why lists with links are so helpful: Guaranteed Love.
I love giving gifts. Each year I go rogue from my kids lists and get them something I want to give them. It has nothing to do with what they want. That small deviation gives me just enough of a sense of freedom. As a receiver of gifts, I prefer not making any lists and just see what the people closest to me think I need and want. Their awareness, observation or instinct is the best gift for me.
MINDSHIFT
What if you detached the receiver's approval of your gift from your own sense of worth?
ONE OF A KIND
What I love about gifts is that they ARE an expression of love and care. I DO like getting gifts on their list because I know that's important to them. Even if it feels like a grocery list of items to pick up this week, embedded in the purchase is a heart that wants to contribute to their sense of satisfaction. Who doesn't love meeting needs and providing for wants?
Society has its trend of must-have items. Thankfully, I'm out of that zeitgeist. From cabage patch kids to beanie babies to nintendo, the urgency of supply and demand has always been a trick that creates a frenzy. There is only one of you.
You are the most limited supply of your gift that will ever exist.
You are rare and unique. Being one of a kind is priceless! You are the best gift you can give this season. Be generous with your presence.
SHIFTING
I hope this week you keep a perspective that grounds you in your motives for purchasing. Give a gift you want to give and be the gift that others need. #ShiftAway
